Monday, January 17, 2011

#3 Cars are Awesome

Three little boys getting to go to the car show with their dad, Grandpa, and Uncle John is awesome! They talked about all those cool cars for HOURS after they got home.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

#2 Xanax is Awesome!

I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Sometimes I feel like I AM PTSD, like it is my entire identity. Those are the times when the PTSD takes over my life and leaves very little room for anything else.

That is where I am this week. Helicopters are a huge trigger of my PTSD. The sight of a helicopter, in the air, or on the ground, is enough to send me into little shivers of anxiety. My face tingles, my ears ring, I get tunnel vision.

The SOUND of a helicopter is a whole other ball game. The sound can send me into instant panic mode. I feel the overwhelming need to run. To hide. I feel like my life is in danger. I feel like that helicopter is actually coming for me and I am going to die.

It's not logical, it's not rational, and I have absolutely no control over it.

Most of the time I am able to keep myself under control. I am able to self talk myself back to calm. But proximity plays a huge roll. The closer the sound, the higher the terror level.

On monday I had a very distressing experience. It has sent my PTSD into a tailspin and this week has been pretty worthless for me. I have suffered from rolling anxiety attacks. They only last a few minutes, but they come one, after another, after another until I feel like my mind is breaking and I am about to step off the edge into a dark place that I can never come back from. I have spent most of the week in an Xanax induced haze which leads me to my Awesome post for today.

Xanax is awesome. Without Xanax and it's ability to calm the terrors that eat me alive from the inside, my world would be a very very horrible place. Without Xanax I wouldn't be able to find that calm place of peace and safety again. Without Xanax I wouldn't be able to calm my terrors and tuck them safely back into their little closet until the next tramatic event comes along and opens the door again.

Without Xanax, I wouldn't HAVE a life.

Xanax is AWESOME!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

#1-Having a son that is interested in your hobbies is AWESOME

My 11 year old made this block with a little cutting and pinning help from mom, he did ALL the sewing! We only had to unpick one seam! Good Job PK, You're AWESOME!

Monday, December 13, 2010


Welcome, I decided to make a new blog to document my year of awesome. I am doing preparation to get ready for this and I am loving the ideas that are coming into my head. Already this concept has changed the way I view my life. I am actively looking for things about my life that I think are "AWESOME", and I hope this will have a long lasting positive effect on my life and the way I live it.

I'm really look forward to checking in on you guys and seeing how you're coming along. I will be linking your blogs in my side bar so that we can follow each other along this journey (And if you're like me, steal ideas of things that are awesome that didn't occur to me LOL).

If you, like me, decide to create a separate blog for this, let me know so that I can keep you updated in the side bar.

A Year of Awesome

My friend posted this on facebook. I think it is such a monumental idea!

I am so in love with this idea that I am making it my project for 2011! I am going to do "A whole year of Awesome!" If you break it down to two things a week, that is 104 things that are awesome and a great way to reflect back on the little, and big things that made your year amazing. It also teaches you to look for things to be grateful for!

Wanna Join me? Sign up and I will create a list in my sidebar of participants.