Three little boys getting to go to the car show with their dad, Grandpa, and Uncle John is awesome! They talked about all those cool cars for HOURS after they got home.
Monday, January 17, 2011
#3 Cars are Awesome
Three little boys getting to go to the car show with their dad, Grandpa, and Uncle John is awesome! They talked about all those cool cars for HOURS after they got home.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
#2 Xanax is Awesome!
I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Sometimes I feel like I AM PTSD, like it is my entire identity. Those are the times when the PTSD takes over my life and leaves very little room for anything else.
That is where I am this week. Helicopters are a huge trigger of my PTSD. The sight of a helicopter, in the air, or on the ground, is enough to send me into little shivers of anxiety. My face tingles, my ears ring, I get tunnel vision.
The SOUND of a helicopter is a whole other ball game. The sound can send me into instant panic mode. I feel the overwhelming need to run. To hide. I feel like my life is in danger. I feel like that helicopter is actually coming for me and I am going to die.
It's not logical, it's not rational, and I have absolutely no control over it.
Most of the time I am able to keep myself under control. I am able to self talk myself back to calm. But proximity plays a huge roll. The closer the sound, the higher the terror level.
On monday I had a very distressing experience. It has sent my PTSD into a tailspin and this week has been pretty worthless for me. I have suffered from rolling anxiety attacks. They only last a few minutes, but they come one, after another, after another until I feel like my mind is breaking and I am about to step off the edge into a dark place that I can never come back from. I have spent most of the week in an Xanax induced haze which leads me to my Awesome post for today.
Xanax is awesome. Without Xanax and it's ability to calm the terrors that eat me alive from the inside, my world would be a very very horrible place. Without Xanax I wouldn't be able to find that calm place of peace and safety again. Without Xanax I wouldn't be able to calm my terrors and tuck them safely back into their little closet until the next tramatic event comes along and opens the door again.
Without Xanax, I wouldn't HAVE a life.
Xanax is AWESOME!
That is where I am this week. Helicopters are a huge trigger of my PTSD. The sight of a helicopter, in the air, or on the ground, is enough to send me into little shivers of anxiety. My face tingles, my ears ring, I get tunnel vision.
The SOUND of a helicopter is a whole other ball game. The sound can send me into instant panic mode. I feel the overwhelming need to run. To hide. I feel like my life is in danger. I feel like that helicopter is actually coming for me and I am going to die.
It's not logical, it's not rational, and I have absolutely no control over it.
Most of the time I am able to keep myself under control. I am able to self talk myself back to calm. But proximity plays a huge roll. The closer the sound, the higher the terror level.
On monday I had a very distressing experience. It has sent my PTSD into a tailspin and this week has been pretty worthless for me. I have suffered from rolling anxiety attacks. They only last a few minutes, but they come one, after another, after another until I feel like my mind is breaking and I am about to step off the edge into a dark place that I can never come back from. I have spent most of the week in an Xanax induced haze which leads me to my Awesome post for today.
Xanax is awesome. Without Xanax and it's ability to calm the terrors that eat me alive from the inside, my world would be a very very horrible place. Without Xanax I wouldn't be able to find that calm place of peace and safety again. Without Xanax I wouldn't be able to calm my terrors and tuck them safely back into their little closet until the next tramatic event comes along and opens the door again.
Without Xanax, I wouldn't HAVE a life.
Xanax is AWESOME!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
#1-Having a son that is interested in your hobbies is AWESOME
My 11 year old made this block with a little cutting and pinning help from mom, he did ALL the sewing! We only had to unpick one seam! Good Job PK, You're AWESOME!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)